So this past weekend I went and floated the Illinois River with a group of volunteers from my church (if you haven’t floated it, you’re missing out). The night before we floated we talked a little about what we need to be working on and reading/getting into the word seemed to be the number one topic. Our Youth Pastor asked us for the three most important things in our lives, and I’m sure all of you could easily guess mine:
- My Family
- My Future
Although, when you really think about it, my number one isn’t really my number one, same for number two. Honestly, my number three is my top priority right now. That being said, where does that leave God and my family?
Later that evening after chewing on that idea for a while, I pulled the Youth Pastor aside and started word vomiting to him about all the problems I’ve had lately. Problems with relationships at home. My relationship with God. Volunteering at the church. My ridiculous and random mood swings, etc. etc, etc.
Let’s just be brutally honest real quick and say all of these problems that I’ve had lately are all self-inflicted. Have I been spending my time and my life with God? Have I been putting Him first? Have I really been putting my family second? Why am I treating the most important things to me like they’re not?
He said something very haunting to me that will stick with me forever. He said, “Before you know Christ you have this hole, this void in your life and you know that there is something more out there that you needed and when you meet Him, it’s filled. But what’s scary, and when you need to start worrying, is when you start to feel that void after you already know Christ.” I feel a void right now and I am a follower of Christ. I am a church volunteer for goodness sake. What am I doing?! He asked me what it was that I am scared of. Why was it that I chased boys, shopping and watched TV rather than chased my Savior? My answer: All of those things are easier.
How sad and incredibly lazy does that sound?
There is one common denominator in all of the problems that I’m having in my life and that’s myself. I’m the problem. How I choose to spend my time and live my life is the real problem. Blaming it on being busy, tired, not up for it, or I just don’t want to: those things don’t cut it, ever and they never will. [Tweet “I refuse to live a life turning my back to God.”]
It’s so simple, it really is. It makes me mad at myself knowing how simple it is to read His word, to just talk to Him. Why do I let my problems get bigger and bigger instead of just giving them up to Him?
Are you doing what I’m doing? Do you feel a void? Are you trying to fill it up with literally everything but Jesus?
I’m finished living my life like this. The enemy won’t prevail. Jesus gave His life for me, so I think I can find thirty minutes in my day to give to Him. That’s my goal right now even though school started yesterday and that I work every day in between. I will read a proverb a day and just sit in silence with Him. He deserves that because He loves me, and I love Him. I dare you to join in with me. Give Him your time and affection, your love. He deserves it and so do you.