February 23, 2012

A Journey

One night in 2008, I had a dream. The dream set me on a new journey. A journey that never in a gazillion years I ever would have guessed I would be on. You can read the actual dream here.

When the Lord asked me to join him, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to. I’ve been on journeys with him before and let’s be honest here; some weren’t necessarily fun. As a matter of fact, a few of them were downright painful.  So when the Lord went so far as to give me a very real dream to ask me to join him, I knew this time wasn’t going to be like any other adventure we’d taken together. I instinctively knew that this invitation was different.

It’s not as if I wasn’t asking for it. I’d actually been begging.  My begging sounded something a little bit like this:

Lord – you gave everyone else a talent of some kind. Why on earth didn’t you give me one? I can’t sing, dance or draw. I’m not atheletic – obviously. I’m not the prettiest, not the smartest or the funnies in a room – come on, couldn’t you have given me something? Here’s the deal: If you’ll just give me a talent of some sort, I PROMISE that I will use that talent to glorify you. I mean it Lord. I’ll use it to bring glory and honor to you and nobody or anything else. Do we have a deal?

Well lo and behold, he gave me something. I’m sure it could be debated whether or not my writing is truly considered a talent. Some may think it is, some probably think it isn’t. But he gave it to me and therefore, I’ve used it to tell his stories. I use it to tell the stories he asks me to tell and the way in which I believe he asks me to tell them.

Right before I started writing Salvaged, my heart was aching. The movie Twilight had just come out and I was hearing girls and women all around me saying: “I wish someone loved me the way Edward loves Bella.” My heart would literally ache when I heard the words because the truth of the matter is that they ARE loved like that. As a matter of fact, they’re loved even more. They’re loved with a perfect, never-ending, unconditional love.

Knowing he was about to have me write the story of Salvaged, the Lord placed a desire in my heart to spread the word of his love. A desire to not only let people know of his unmatched love, but also his desire to communicate with us – no matter how it’s done. A desire to let people know that with the Lord it’s about relationship and nothing else. It’s about running to him in sorrow or in happiness. It’s about crying out to him when we’re hurting or shouting for joy when we realize how blessed we are. It’s about going to him with our questions: “Lord, where are you?”; “Lord, how could you let this happen to me?”; “Lord, how is it possible that I deserve all you’ve given me?”; “Lord, can you use me?”

It’s talking to him and listening to him. It’s about trusting that he wants what’s best for us and more than likely we don’t know what the best is. It’s about being willing to walk along side him even when we don’t know what lies ahead.

Since Salvaged was released two years ago in March, I’ve had so many people come to me and ask how I went about writing the book or what the publishing  process is like. They also say that they wish that they could write a book – or they mention something else they’ve always dreamed to do. I don’t really know what to say to people. The reality of it is, this was never my dream. Never a goal in my life. It was God’s goal. It was his plan for me – a plan he had to talk me in to. Notice, he asked me to join him on the journey and waited for me to say yes, long before he actually unveiled what the journey would be.

What about you? When you go to the Lord and ask for a journey, do you tell him what type of journey you’re wanting? Do you tell him that you want to write or sing or be a public speaker? What if what he has in mind for you isn’t at all what you want to do? Do you still want to take that journey? What if he wants to take you on a journey that nobody else will even see? Or, what if he wants to take you on a journey that EVERYONE will see, everyone will feel the right to analyze, digest, criticize , etc?

I don’t know much. But one thing I think I’ve learned is that we don’t know what we want and we certainly don’t know what’s best for us. We THINK we do – but we don’t. And the reality of it is: Is it even about us anyway? Isn’t all this about him?

If you’re wanting God to use you in some way, I encourage you to wipe the slate clean. Forget about telling him what you want to do – tell him that you want to do whatever it is that he wants you to do. I believe THAT is when your new journey will begin.

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Filed under Do I Have To, God, Hearing God, Salvaged, Spiritual Growth, Writing, Yes I'm talking to you

January 19, 2012

Walking the Tight Rope of Faith

Do you ever feel like you’re walking a tightrope when it comes to your walk with the Lord? That’s how I feel much of the time. Not so much with whether I have faith that God exists. I have no doubt of that. And not that I’m unsure about the Lord and all that encompasses the salvation message. I’m certain of that as well. What I more struggle with is walking the tightrope of having faith in… well, faith.

My struggle is more in the area of believing God will move or act in particular situations.

I don’t want to have too much faith in something for fear that if I’m wrong, I’ll be upset and it will mess my mind and my faith that God does actually move in our lives. And I don’t want to lean too much the other way and not have enough faith that God will move.

I recently read the book “Sun Stand Still” and loved it. I nodded and said “yep” the entire time I read it, but when it boiled right down to it, I decided that I probably couldn’t be that person that had a sun stand still prayer because I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment. I don’t like to hope for something only to be let down.

I tend to get my hopes up with things. I’m a dreamer and I can dream up some pretty big stuff. And I can one-hundred percent believe that a particular dream was from the Lord and he’s behind me and working on my behalf.  But in dreaming big and being hopeful, I set myself up for disappointment time and time again.

This character trait drives my family crazy because I do it with everything. In football, I assume my favorite team will get beat and I tell myself they will get beat, that way I’m pleasantly surprised if they win and not devastated if they lose. I do the same with personal goal setting. I set them very low because my fear is that if I set it even a little higher, I’ll only disappoint myself. It’ll be yet another thing I didn’t do well.

I find I do the same thing to God. I seriously downplay what he can do “just in case” he chooses not to move in a particular situation. I justify my lack of faith by saying that I believe that God can move, I’m just not sure that he wants to…. at least for me, anyway.

So I’m trying to walk this tightrope and I think I’m doing a very bad job of it. I’m leaning much too far to the “it won’t happen” side. That side of hearing the voice that says: “Those kinds of things don’t happen for you. That’s only for other people”. Or, “You didn’t hear God correctly, don’t put your faith or hope in that.”

Is it better to be more cautious or to be certain?  Do you prefer to hope for the best and biggest or prepare for the worst and the leftovers?

Where are you on the tightrope? Do you balance it well or do you tip to one side?

 

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January 3, 2012

Now Taking Pre-Orders for ‘Collision’

Watch the book trailer here! Then, order your signed copy by going to the “My Store” tab above.

There are two choices: a single copy of Collision or a bundle of Salvaged, Rise and Collision.

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November 22, 2011

Collision – Cover Reveal

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October 13, 2011

I Said I’d Do What?

I’ve been known to launch out on something new before really thinking it through. Usually when I do, not many people know about it so I can back out and nobody knows the difference. Well, yesterday I stupidly posted my latest “brilliant idea” on Facebook.

What did I do?

I committed myself to a 30 day television fast.

That’s right, people. No television for 30 whole days. Well, let me correct that: I added the addendum that I could watch football, but other than that, no television. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Can we say, “torture”?

Why did I make such a crazy pledge?

Over the last month, my life has gotten a little crazy. I’ve added a few odd jobs to my plate and haven’t done a good job of time management. Heck, who am I kidding?  I have no time management. I just run around like a mad person and then when I get crazy and can’t figure out what to do about it, I do nothing… as if that’s somehow helpful. And for those of you who have followed my blog over the last few years, you already know what a horrible house keeper person I am. I hate laundry and cooking and grocery shopping – yet here it is, my occupation. Home maker. (I sort of giggle when I say that). Seeing as how it’s my chosen occupation at the moment, I sort of have to figure out how to get it all done and still find time to get writing done. After all, writing is the one thing I truly want to do.

So, for the last few weeks I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and pouting because I just can’t seem to find the time to write. Yeah, right. No time that is if you don’t count the hours that I spend watching television shows I don’t even really care about watching. You know, that stuff that you watch because it’s mindless and gives you an escape? That stuff. Apparently there was a lot of it in my life because I’m less than 24 hours into this television fast and I’ve got the heebie jeebies really bad. By this time today, I would’ve at least watched ESPN for an hour or more and tuned into the Investigation Discovery Channel (my new fav). And tonight – probably some trash reality television and a drama or something else. Who knows? Point is – none of it is anything I can’t live without seeing, but as a whole, it seems like it’ll be impossible to live without! Does that make any sense?

Once I’d written for a few hours yeserday, gone to the bank, the post office, the grocery store and folded some laundry, I had some time to think. And you know what? I realized that this wasn’t just some hair brained idea that I’d gotten myself in to. It was prodded by the Lord – because it was needed. I think I’m about to realize some things. Some truths… about myself. About what I make a priority in my life and what gets pushed aside. Some truths about what’s important. Some insights into how I let “mindless” shows, truly occupy my mind instead of using that time for better things.

I don’t know if I’ll make it a full 30 days. I hope I will.

I don’t know how much writing I’ll get done. I hope it’s a lot.

All I do know, is that this will be an adventure. And really, isn’t everything God prods us to do an adventure, anyway?

So, over the next 30 or so days, I’ll keep you updated on how this thing goes. Wish me luck!

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Filed under 30 Day Television Fast, Do I Have To, I'm An Idiot, Priorities

September 23, 2011

Fan Friday: Conversations

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever wanted to hang out at a place like the Friends did? Well, Conversations is that place – with the addition of books!

Sometimes God just makes magical things happen. When Salvaged first came out, it was working its way around Oklahoma Christian School in Edmond, OK and one of the girls who read it told her mother about it. Her mother just so happened to be opening Conversations within just a few weeks. She looked me up, gave me a call, came to my house and picked up ten copies of Salvaged for the store. They sold all ten to more OCS students by the next afternoon, so I took them more.

A wonderful relationship was born! Conversations was the very first store to carry Salvaged Rise, and the very first store to hold a book signing for me. I love the store itself but I love the people that work there even more!

Conversations isn’t just a book store that serves FREE coffee, it’s also a place of ministry, counseling, yoga, an open mic night – and more! If you live in the OKC/Edmond area, you should certainly check them out! Check out their Facebook page, HERE.

Thank you to all the ladies of Conversations for giving me and the my stories so much support!

Love and blessings,

Stefne

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September 22, 2011

Adoption Update

I recently saw a blog post on “What Not to Say to an Adoptive Parent”. It caused me to realize that I haven’t updated readers on our adoption process since we lost Karim and Phiona. We get asked questions all the time, so I thought I’d answer some of them here.

For the record, in regards to the article that I linked to up above: I don’t even notice when people ask questions or make statements like the ones the writer mentions. I can understand people’s curiosity. I can understand that adoption can be a sticky subject and people just don’t know how to ask questions. Generally, people don’t understand all that is involved with adoption, and therefore, they don’t understand what “terms” or “questions” are a little iffy or even possibly offensive. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt – they mean well, they just may not ask in the best way. On the other hand, I don’t take issue with adoptive parents that are more prone to being offended or caught off guard by such questions and statements. I understand why they would be upset. In other words, I can understand both sides.

In regards to Karim and Phiona – We don’t know what happened to Karim. The last we heard, he was returned to family members somewhere in Uganda. The adoption agency that we used was having issues with their country rep, so there was a large lack of communication and information. Phiona was adopted by a family that we came to know during the process. She has been in America for over a year and is doing great. I get to see pictures of her all the time on Facebook. She’s beautiful and amazing and I believe she’s in the home that was best suited for her. I can look back at our loss and see that God had a better plan for her. Don and Angie are amazing parents to her (and her sister) and I’m beyond thrilled that she’s part of such a wonderful family.

I continue to pray for Karim and constantly wonder where he is and what has happened to him.

Yohannes – he’s doing great! He is now twelve years old. He’s in middle school! A 6th grader. He’s an excellent student and a wonderful kid. He’s a hard worker, a perfectionist and his personality and sense of humor continue to emerge as he gets a better grasp of the American language and our quirks.

People ask what happened to his parents – they both died of AIDS. We do call his birth parents his parents, because they were his parents for the first five years of his life. They gave birth to him and cared for him – we are blessed by their gift.

He doesn’t generally like to talk about Ethiopia, although as he gets older and the memories fade, he is more willing to discuss it. We let him dictate whether or not he wants to talk about his life in Africa. If he brings it up, we take part. If he doesn’t, we don’t push it. On the way home from church one day, Yohannes did say that he looked forward to seeing his parents in heaven some day. The comment made my heart happy.

A lot of people ask if we had any problems with Yohannes when he first joined our family. We did. For the first few months, he would shut down if he got in trouble or if something was happening that he didn’t like. He had a few epic screaming fits – I think it was more from frustration on his part and I could hardly blame him although at the time they were hard to deal with. We had the episode in the hospital (which I blogged about) but once we left the hospital, we really didn’t have issues with him again. It seemed like he figured out that we were all here for the long haul and he just got up, dusted himself off and started to adapt. He’s done an amazing job.

ESL – Yohannes did take part in English as a Second Language classes for the first two years, but he is now testing out of it. His grasp of the language is amazing. His only problem area is writing – which makes sense. He no longer takes ESL classes.

How is his health? Great. He hasn’t been to the doctor for sickness (since the hospital incident). He’s had a cough here and there – that’s about it. He’s very healthy and a great eater.

Does he get along well with his new brothers? As well as other brothers get along with one another. One minute they love each other and the next they can’t stand to be in the same room. They’re typical brothers – in every way possible.

Does he appreciate things more than American kids do? I believe people ask this question because they (and we) assume that since he came from a life with so little – that he would tend to appreciate what he’s got now. My honest answer is, no. I don’t think he appreciates things more and I don’t mean that to sound negative. He doesn’t really remember his life before and even if he did, I don’t know if he’s old enough yet to really grasp how different his life is. Maybe he will once he’s older – but he may never make that connection. I have to be careful not to hold it over his head – expect him to be appreciative and therefore hold him to a different standard that I would my other two boys. Everyone should be appreciative of what they have – regardless of what they did or didn’t have before.

Does he ever feel “different” or like he doesn’t “fit in” to the family? I don’t know, you’d have to ask him. Sometimes I worry about it but can only hope that if it ever becomes an issue, he’ll come to Shaun or I to talk about it.

That’s all the questions I can think of. If you have any – feel free to ask. I’d love to open people’s eyes to the good and more difficult aspects of adoption – so if you’ve got a curiosity, let me know!

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September 20, 2011

Fan Friday: Bloggers!

http:thebookcellarx.blogspot.com and http://tickettoanywhere.blogspot.com

http://acasualreader.blogspot.com

When I first entered the world of publishing, I knew nothing about book blogs, but I’ve come to be a huge fan – and you should as well. I actually blogged about bloggers several months back, HERE. And you can see a list of blogs that have reviewed the books, HERE. Check them out, they’re amazing!

I’ve come to know several of the ladies through Twitter and Facebook and I have learned more from them than you could ever know! They are a priceless resource and pillar of encouragement and support.

Once a year, the publishing industry holds a huge convention in New York City. My dream is to go one year – not to hob nob with other writers, but to finally meet some of the bloggers I’ve come to like so much.

Please take the time to browse their websites. Add them to your favorites “tab”, because you’ll want their insight on the latest and greatest (and not so great) books out there!

Thank you to all of the amazing bloggers! You’re amazing!

Love and blessings,

Stefne

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September 16, 2011

Fan Friday: Deer Creek High School

Deer Creek High School

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank the Lord for librarian Mari Pace!

With Salvaged having Christian themes running throughout, it’s difficult (if not darned near impossible) to get speaking engagements in public schools (even if I don’t mention my faith at all). Well, Mrs. Pace didn’t let anything stop her!

She read Salvaged and not only wanted it in her library, but wanted to make sure girls had the opportunity to read it. She took the book through all the proper channels, put systems in place and got permission from parents and before long, twenty copies of the book were floating around Deer Creek Hight School. Then, on Valentine’s Day 2011 I had the opportunity to speak to a writing class and the book club that read the book. The warm welcome was amazing and I was thrilled to see the positive reaction the girls had for the book. They loved it so much, Mrs. Pace ordered copies of Rise and we did it all over again!

I am so truly blessed that Mrs. Pace took a chance on me and the books. I can’t ever say thank you enough!

Thanks, Deer Creek High School for being such a wonderful support and such great fans of Salvaged and Rise!

Love and Blessings,

Stefne

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Filed under Fan Friday, Rise, Salvaged

September 12, 2011

Behind the Scenes Monday: Creating a Character

Climbing into the head of a character is my favorite part of writing. It’s like getting to live in an alternate universe. A better world – or a worse world that I’ll get to navigate. Maybe I put the character in situations that I’ve found  myself in and let them handle it much better than I did, or live out a scenario that I could only wish that I could. It’s all about living through the character and loving it.

In order to do this, I have to know the character well. Especially well when I write a character in first person. I spend hours and hours thinking about how they would talk. How fast or slow? What’s the pacing of their sentences? Do they speak proper grammar or ignore most grammatical rules? How do they walk? What is their favorite color? Their favorite food? Their favorite football team… or do they hate football (God forbid). Who are their best friends? Their worst enemies? What does their room look like? Is it messy or clean? What’s on the walls?  What do they drive (if they can drive)? What do they wish they drove? You name it, I need to know it – even if the fact will never be mentioned in the story.

One of my favorite things to do to “get into character” is go shopping. What a person wears says a lot about them. Even if they only wear jeans and a t-shirt- that speaks volumes. Maybe it says the person shows no interest in fashion. Maybe it shows they’re lazy. Maybe it shows they are a non-conformist. Maybe it shows they have a poor body image and try to hide behind messy clothes. Let’s face it – clothes say a lot about a person. So, as I create a character I also create “style boards”. I play around on the internet and find photos of outfits that I believe a character would wear. Later, as I write scenes, I may even picture them wearing a particular outfit that I chose for them.

Today, I thought I’d share some of those styles with you. Here is a link for tons of outfits for all of my characters (from all books, including the one I’m writing now). Take a look at my “character closets” and see what you think!

Next Monday: Novel Soundtracks

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Filed under Behind the Scenes, Rise, Salvaged