You learn a lot about yourself the older you get and the more things you experience. Some stuff is great, some stuff… not so great. God has really tried to work on my heart about some things and I think I am just now, at 24 years old, starting to realize some of them. As uncomfortable as it is to tell all of you what I stink at and the things I really need to work on, I think that it’s part of the growing process for me. It also helps me- and probably you guys- to feel like you are not alone, and gives us the opportunity to grow together.
One of the many things I struggle with is the fact that I am always so quick to judge on what people do or say in certain situations. I see this a lot, especially in my work and in my marriage. I tend to expect a certain response or reaction from someone when something comes up, and when it's not that, I go into this defensive mode and get frustrated because I don’t agree with it. I have caught myself praying that other people will change when my heart is just as guilty. I am the first to say, “no, you did or said this wrong”, when there is not necessarily a right or wrong way.
It kinda makes me laugh now thinking of the fact that I was so blinded and tricked by my own thoughts, that I really prayed (thinking I was doing the right thing) about the OTHER PERSON to change. Wow. Thank goodness, that God loves us through our sinfulness because that is just… ugly. Why am I not praying for God to transform my heart and make me more like Him, instead of leaving my sinful self alone and trying to change the other person? That is so not how it works. God says in His word, “Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. And
I think today, many of us struggle with condemning someone by just one small action that we happen to disagree with. Someone didn’t look at you the right way, we assume they are mean. Someone didn’t say hi on the way into work or school, we assume they are unfriendly. We see a mother or father lose their temper at their child in the middle of the grocery store, and we assume they are a bad parent or have “bad” kids. We see our spouse do or not do, or say, or not say something, and we assume they are going against us. There are so many things that we expect people to live up to, and when they don’t, we consider them something they are not. I don’t even want to try to live up to my own expectations because I would fail.
Not long ago my husband and I were talking about the house we just bought. We have been deciding on the things that we want our house to look like, and all the little details that will soon come together. It was a calm and fun talk until he said something that upset me because I took it wrong, and instead of taking it for what he said, I got defensive and assumed he said it to make a stab at me. Really? My own insecurities and my own expectations got in the way of receiving a message that was in no way condescending or hurtful. But because it wasn’t what I expected, or wanted, I thought it was wrong. Shame on me.
I want nothing more for the Lord to transform my heart, but it takes time y’all… it doesn’t just happen overnight. Just like anything else, it is choosing daily to allow God to transform you. I pray for those of you (I would like to meet anyone who is not in this category) that struggle with judging others by the way they act or the things they do or judging those who don’t hold up to your standard. I pray that you would see people more like Christ sees them! I encourage you to pray for God to transform your heart, not praying for Him to change theirs.
When we're consumed w/judging how others live, we completely miss what God has 4 our lives.
Besides, it hurtful, so let’s strive to keep our life a judgment free zone.