Alright guys, I feel we need a little mix-up for this weeks blog. Here is a poem I wrote last weekend after a amazing church service. These are just a few things that I’m struggling with, and this poem is my life, it’s very transparent, so please be nice!
This is gonna be rough, I’ve exhausted all my sweet words. I’m at my wits end, and it’s finally getting in my nerves.
A story of a girl, innocent and sweet with a sense of humor that never skips a beat. But what’s under that cover? That smiling mask? What is she hiding is the question no one asks.
So quick to give up her saved purity to get a quick fix from all of her insecurities. Why is she so inclined to hear rap, country and hipster instead of worship that actually speaks life into her?
There was a time she threw on her church shirt to go out and drink. To go out to parties, flirt with strangers and throw up her memories into the sink. But that season is over. She chose the road to life, but is what she’s living here and now really living the right life?
There may be no alcohol but there are bad things being seen, curse words, judgement and comments under her breath that are nothing but mean.
She spends her whole weekend walking around in that same church shirt. Forgetting all the bad stuff and wiping off that old sinful hurt dirt.
“I’m saved, I know” she says. “The people around me will agree, but what will God say when he comes down to meet me?”.
Will he applaud me, say he’s proud, invite me through the pearly gates? Or will he say, “back up, you said what you said, and did what you did, now you’re too late.” She knows she’s forgiven, she’s read that verse, but she feels she deserves much worse.
She prays at night asking for obedience, riches, and a man. Saying, “Lord, if anyone can do it, you can”. But when she wakes up is it the Bible she opens? The book specifically written for the lost and broken?
I know this girl very well, almost like she’s me. I see the potential there and the great things that she’ll be. We’ll pray together and eventually grow. But first we needed to get these things out in the open so everyone knows.
Thank you guys! Let me know what you think!
Kerrigan is an eighteen year old who is about to begin her sophomore year at the University of Central Oklahoma. She enjoys writing, playing soccer and watching movies. Kerrigan is involved in college ministry and is passionate about God.