So I have been reading a book the past few weeks and it is called “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. The book focuses mainly on vulnerability but I just want to talk about one specific part that I read the other night (most of you have already read it if your friends with me on Facebook):
“To claim the truths about who we are, where we come from, what we believe, and the very imperfect nature of our lives, we have to be willing to give ourselves a break and appreciate the beauty of our cracks or imperfections. To be kinder and gentler to ourselves the same way we’d talk to someone we care about.” -Brene Brown
I wanted to talk today about our self-talk. How we perceive ourselves and what we say to ourselves that we would never say to someone that we loved like a friend or family member.
To Someone we love:
“Oh you look so skinny, you would look beautiful even if you gained ten pounds!”
“I will never look skinny, I could lose ten pounds and still look super big. I will never look like her. I will never be confident like that until I’m skinny than them.”
To Someone we love:
“You’ll get in! God is taking care of you, and you are super smart! They would be lucky to have you as a student there!”
“They will never accept me, my GPA sucks, I’m not very smart, and I’m too lazy. That girl in my class is way smarter, there is no way, they’ll accept me.”
To Someone Else:
“You’re a catch! That girl/guy would be lucky if they even got a little bit of your attention! You are a wonderful person and you are so worthy of a person that will treat you like you deserve! It will happen soon, I just know it!”
“I’m alone because I am too picky and scarred from my past. There is no way that there is someone out there who could deal with all of this, unless their crazy. I won’t get the person of my dreams, it just isn’t in the cards for me.”
Have you ever said any of these things? Anything like them? Those are only a few examples and they just so happen to be the self-talk that I relate to the most. The top three things that I think about all day, everyday. Reading that quote, although hard, makes me want to change the way I talk to myself.
If my little sister or close friend told me that they talk to themselves like that, I would be so sad for them. I would hurt for them, and tell them the truth of all of those things. I would try to encourage them and tell them that all of those things that they say to themselves are just lies from the enemy. So, if I hear that from someone else and instantly want to change it for them, why don’t I do that for myself?
This sounds stupid but: Why do we let ourselves talk to ourselves like that?
(All the English people reading this just scolded me, but its true!)
I don’t know how to change this, all I’m going to try to do is as soon as those thoughts come up, I am going to try and handle it the same way I would if a loved one told me they were thinking those things:
- YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR OWN WAY (even you guys!)
- SKINNY ISN’T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL
- IT IS OKAY TO FAIL
- TRY ANYWAYS
- THIS IS JUST A STEPPING STONE/SEASON
- GOD HAS SOMEONE FOR YOU
- YOU ARE SO WORTHY IT IS RIDICULOUS
- YOU ARE AMAZING
- YOU ARE LOVED
- YOU WILL BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT
- GOD HAS YOU
- THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND YOU THAT LOVE YOU
If that wasn’t enough, here are these too:
- “And to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:24
- “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14
- (My favorite:) “Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky” Philippians 2:15
- “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
Change your thinking and be kind to yourself!
You are beautiful and worthy!
Love you guys!