In times like these I wish there was some secret realm in my backyard that would have a magical telephone that would let me talk to you and let me hear you talk back to me.
Lord, most days you are not my first priority and you are not all that I think about, but in times like right now, you are on my mind:
I think of the most loving man, the most caring father, the wisest mentor, the best daddy, the most loyal friend, my never-ending pal, the most selfless servant, the greatest leader, the richest man in love and benevolence.
And God I know there is so much more to you, things that my simple mind cannot even begin to comprehend.
You are all that I need.
Every time I wake up, every time I feel the sun, every time I see a baby, when I help an elderly person, when I see nature flow as it’s supposed to, to see people give their lives to you, when I close my eyes and surrender to you, Lord, I see you in so many things and one day I hope to see you in everything.
Even in a marriage falling apart, even when my plans don’t work out, in an orphan child, even in a single mother’s struggles, in poverty, even in school, and even when things don’t go as we want them to.
Lord, my heart is full with you. I continue to read this verse and cannot even wrap my mind completely around it,
“…but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you.” (Isaiah 53:8).
Lord, growing up, I have lost my confidence and I have been beat down. I have doubted myself and have doubted you. I have strayed from you and ignored you. I have struggled with my confidence and my abilities to do all in you.
Starting with you sacrificing yourself on the cross for me.
Lord, you are my hero, the first and largest love of my life, you are my light, the sun that rises and sets every single day, you are my best friend and you are my dad, my brother, my friend, mentor, neighbor, and so much more.
Today, right now, I give myself to you. I feel you, I feel your love and I know with everything that I have that you are real and that you care about me.
To the world, I am just a small and insignificant speck on a map or on a list, but you know me by name. You know how many hairs I have on my head and you hear my every thought. You see me wave to my neighbor, hug my sister, you hear when I curse while driving and you feel every pang of guilt or hurt that I feel.
You see every time I sin, and you love me no matter what.
You feel for me when I cry, or when I am hurt.
You are understanding when I forget to read my Bible or when I ignore what you are saying to me.
You listen to me even when all I am saying is what I need you to do for me.
Lord, I know what I am saying is disorganized and scatter brained, but right now, I am so overwhelmed with you and all that you are and all that you give me. If that magical telephone was real, these are all of the things that I would say to you. I would never want to hang up, I would never want to stop talking to you and I would so love to hear what you have to say to me.
So all of this is mainly just to say, that I love you with all that I have in me. You are my everything and I know I am loved by you. I count the days until I get to meet you until I get to speak to you and hear you speak back to me.
Thank-you for loving me, for bringing me into this crazy world. You made everything about me just as you wanted it, you placed me in this place at this time and there are opportunities all around me. So thank-you for loving me specifically and always taking care of me. Thank you for being my super hero and for being my Jesus Christ.
Follow Kerrigan on Twitter @kerrigandudley!