I survived finals week! And the whole semester! Also, my predictions were wrong from August: I do have all of my hair and it is still blonde! I also have not choked out or freaked out on anyone either, so success!
Also, my mom and I started our Whole30 eating this past Monday. So far so good it seems. We are, however, a tad cranky and irritable but it is easy to cook and meal plan now that I have two days off from school! I’ll keep y’all updated!
Also, I have decided on talking about trust this week.
A few weeks ago when I enrolled for the Spring semester, I had to enroll in four out of five weekdays in order to stay on track to apply for Nursing school next year.
Because I had to enroll in so many days, obviously my work schedule was going to have to change. I knew, because of Nursing school that I wouldn’t be able to continue working for Gus (the eighty-five-year-old that I take care of) for too much longer and it was kinda the inevitable. So, I believe this will be the last month I work for him. I’m pretty sad and will miss him oh so much, but I have to keep truckin’ through school.
Now that I won’t be working for him, and will be in school most days, I’ll have to find another job, take a pay cut and probably not like it as much.
BUT. That’s okay. One night last week I was lying in bed thinking of which bills to pay, and what was coming up and who gets what for Christmas. My mind wandered over to how sad I was for leaving Gus and quickly, it turned into worry because now I won’t have the same stability that I have now. So, should I go for my LPN instead my RN to save money? Should I get two jobs instead of one? Should I just save up and not work at all next semester?
I’m sure you all know how this vicious circle winds up. [Tweet “You think too much where u worry urself sick when it may not even be that big of a deal. “]
My parents divorced when I was eight years old, and let me tell you they were not very nice to each other after that (that’s me fluffing “nicely” up). They were mean and stubborn and if you know me, then you’ll know that I’m easy to walk on, I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I worry. So for years after that, whenever we would have breaks from school or it would be the Holidays, it would be extremely difficult to figure out how we would get from one parent’s house to the other. We switched back and forth every Friday, my mom lived in Moore and dad in Edmond. When Friday morning would roll around, mom would refuse to drive up to Edmond to pick us up, dad would refuse to meet her halfway…and it was seriously a different problem every week. Then, when my brother was old enough to drive, the idea was for my older brother to drive all three of us across town from dad’s to school every morning and back home after school. Well, that did not settle over very well with my mom, causing all types of the same problem we had been having for years.
One Thursday evening, I was probably fourteen, I stayed up past everyone that night so that I could try to figure out how to get all three of us to the other parent’s house without either of my parents getting mad or fighting; which, as you can guess, there is only so much that a fourteen-year-old who doesn’t drive can do. So, my night ended in disappointment because I could not figure anything out. I went to my room and cried (which is still a normal thing for me) and prayed. I told God that I didn’t know why my parents had to make things so hard, and I asked him for a solution.
We do a lot of asking for solutions to God as Christians. When more often than not, the solution is letting it go to God so that He can straighten it out. For most of you, that’s a hard thing to do. For moms, or college kids or control freaks, giving it up and waiting seems like an eternity.
Luckily, at fourteen I realized that it was the easiest of most rewarding thing to do. Now, I really can’t remember how we got home that next day but I do know that it was easy and I don’t think fighting was involved.
That day, I learned that there are so many dang things in this world that are out of my control. I even worry most times about the things that are in my control. But that day I trusted that he would make everything ok. Even if it was bumpy, or late, or unpleasant, I still asked him to help me and He showed up the next morning.
Back to Gus and leaving my job. I know that this is going to suck for a little while, or that I’ll have to get a job that I may not like or I’ll miss spending time with him, but I trust God. Just as He showed up that day for me and my brother and sister, I know and believe with everything in me that He hears what I ask and he knows the desires of my heart.
During that period of my life, I was a pretty lonely kid and still am at times, but through that I knew God was there and that He had me.
So, now as you’re metaphorically laying in your bed, thinking too much and worrying. [Tweet “Just let it go to God, He’s got u, He’s got me, He’s got ur neighbor, He even has that grumpy receptionist at your dentist’s office.”] Trust Him and give it to Him, just as you expect your spouse or kids or best friend to trust you and believe in you, we have to do the same for God.
So, I know I will be fine, financially, spiritually, mentally (now that school is over) and for the most part emotionally (you know how I enjoy a good cry every now and then). God’s got me through everything, the ups and downs. Please if you’re worrying or going through anything remember that, while I try to remember it too.
Have a good week everybody and as always I love hearing all of your feedback!