So my smarty pants mom and I were talking yesterday in the car on our way to dinner and I mentioned how some friends are hard to stay friends with because it takes so much energy and time just to either keep up with them or them keep up with you. Then I began counting all the major friendships that I’ve let go through this “journey” of mine and why I did, blah blah blah. Some friends I let go because they were mean, or some were all about drama, others turned our friendship into crap. Then, there are the friendships that, just until yesterday, I realized it wasn’t them who was the problem, but I let them go because I didn’t want to do it anymore or I was the problem.
Thinking that is seriously uncomfortable. Especially, considering that I felt completely justified in cutting those cords at the time. What if I think back to all of the friendships, relationships, acquaintances, etc. that have I walked away from, right or wrong…
And I walk through life holding my head up high because I’m a volunteer, better yet, I’m a Christian. Of course I love people. I love the heck out of people, through thick and thin, sins and all. Well…I guess…all people…except those couple of friends…I guess.
WOW. I swear its like some light bulb went off yesterday in my mom’s jeep for me. What was so terribly bad with those people that I couldn’t stick with them? See them out of the tunnel? What people have done that kindness for me? I can name five off the top of my head.
Now, I’m not saying this applies to every relationship you’ve ever had. Because, there are those situations, that to survive, you have to walk away from. And I’m not saying that I didn’t have a few of those, because I did and I don’t regret leaving.
But, for the ones that fit in along with the rest of them, what right did I have choosing the easier road instead of sticking it out with them? Standing beside them?
[Tweet “As Christians, our ONE MAIN job is to love people and to lead them to Christ. “]It sounds so sweet off the tongue and if you’ve ever tried it, you know how hard it is to do. Every time you get cut off in traffic, or your ex husband doesn’t pay child support again, or your kid keeps running away from all of his responsibilities…so many things I could go on forever. I know how hard it is, and I know how easy it is to walk away from people who aren’t convenient to be friends with, to work along side, or to live by.
Jesus did it.
And whether I like it or not. Whether you like it not. He asks us to do it.
So with a heavy heart I think back on all of those relationships, all of those people that may have needed me, or I may have needed them, that I walked away from…We’re not perfect, I certainly am not, but, I walk through those church doors and through my life with a red flag saying “I’m a Christian and I love you because Jesus loves you”. But do I love them? Do they feel that love coming from me? The inconvenient people, do you feel it? The severely damaged people, do you feel it? Alcoholics? Homeless? Workaholics? Drama filled people? Do you all feel this love the way I feel it from Jesus?
I doubt it.
…and I am sorry about that.
So…to all of you new resolution setters, think about it. Even as I’m typing these words, I wish I wasn’t because this “burden” or “job” that we’ve been asked to do is a hard one. But, no one has said it would be easy. Just think about it.
So, to end on an ridiculously cheesy note:
I love you.